Bugs!

They're about to all go into hiding for the winter, so here are a few pictures of bugs I found over the summer.

Labor Day Weekend Trip

Okay, it's time to resurrect the blog a bit and see what happens. This may or may not be useful.

Decided to do some camping and fishing over Labor Day weekend. Went down to Olive Creek near the little town of Kramer. There's some good fishing to be had here, lots of nice bass and some consistent catfishing as well. There are tons of little bluegill eager to become cutbait as well. It's also very pretty and relatively uncrowded for a lake near Lincoln.



Most bass in the lake aren't anything special--usually 12-15 inches, but they're fun to catch and there are plenty of them. There are some nice largemouth bass to catch, though, like this 18-incher.



The turtles kept nibbling at my cutbait. It was incredibly annoying. I did feel very bad when I caught this guy.



The sunset on Saturday night was very nice.



After a small campfire and some easy mac for supper, I settled into the tent for a good night's rest. The next morning was foggy and very pretty. Here is the view from my campsite, then a few pictures of the sunrise from around the lake.











The fishing on Sunday morning was very slow, so I headed back home early. Good trip overall though.

For Those Who Love Their Beer

An Irishman, Englishman and Scottsman go into a pub
and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender
hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each
of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away
and demands another pint.

The Scottsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches in to the glass, pinches the fly between
his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastid!
Spit it out!"

Fun things to do in Wal-Mart

BANNED FROM WAL-MART...........

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
"Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right way."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least ..

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
WalMart

Beer!

My roommate sent this to me a while ago, and I thought it would be worthwhile to pass it on. It is quite humorous.

In one episode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar
describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy, Norm. I don't think I've
ever heard the concept explained any better than this .


"Well you see, Norm, it's like this . . A herd of buffalo can only
move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it
is the lowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as
the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol
kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest
brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates
the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Unauthorized Dams

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of
Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the
State's letter before you get to the response letter.

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming
County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the
above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as
the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following
unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the
outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.

A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have
been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this
activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,
of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451
of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113
of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.!

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and
flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature
are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department
therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this
location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by
removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream
channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than
January 31, 2004.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been
completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our
staff.

Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized
activity on the site may result in this case being referred for
elevated enforcement action..

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming
County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me for
response.

I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania.

A couple of beavers (State unauthorized) are in the process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the
outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for,
authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would
be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures
building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time
and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no
way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam
resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that
they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type
of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond
Beavers.
(2) Or do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform
to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers,
through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed
copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been
issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation
of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of
1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania
Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers
entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition
please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest
them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter,
they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to
build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the
grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam
rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department
of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to
its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the
environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can
be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why
wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the
dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the
bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely
believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave
the beavers alone.

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable
to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this
response to your dam office.


THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

Engineers

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him"
He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I ll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Pictures on teh intarweb!

I'm trying smugmug to see if it's worth it to use as photo hosting. It's a lot nicer than my current facebook method, I think. Take a look-see around and see what you think.

http://starkfiles.smugmug.com/

A Snowy Trip Home

New Guns!

A week or so ago, Joe, Blair, and I got new guns. New old guns, that is. Blair got a Russian Mosin, Joe got a Swiss Carcano, and I got a Czech Mauser.
Blair and Joe shoot.

Blair and Joe keep shooting.

Me and Joe stand around with our guns.

Carcano, Mauser, and ammunition.

The Mauser can kill rabbits with astounding efficiency.